2015 was the most average of years. Nothing of major consequence happened to me.
I had many ups and downs. I turned the most average of ages: 27. I had what I believed to be, at the time, a great relationship. It ended in the most average of fashions, via text message. I didn’t gain or lose weight. Sure, I was promoted to be the chief resident of my residency program. However, I did not assume that role until April 2016. I didn’t travel anywhere, didn’t save money well, and didn’t make new friends. Athletically, I was very neutral, despite completing my first Spartan Race.
As I lay here on my bed in my boxers, furiously combing through my memories of 2015, I come to a singular, simple, and significant realization: 2015 sucked.
Thus far, 2016 has been one of my best years to date. Therefore, I have decided to respectfully withdraw from the race for KeyPAP Man of the Year 2015.
Not only is 2016 the year of the Monkey, but also, it shall be the year of the Fez. And hark! The Fezian shalt strike back with the force of one-thousand suns to burn into the sweet memory (and mammory) of 2016. For as a great man once said, “There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for much thereafter.”
See you at the 2016 KeyPAP End of the Year Rendezvous. You better bring your A-game.
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