Ian Ding: Hello Dr. Funk, How are you doing today?
Dr. Funk: I’m doing fine thank you. You can call me Dave, after all I’m basically just like everyone else [winks].
Ding: [laughs] Well then, let’s get started. I want to get right to it and ask you about the PTC. What was it like going out there and mixing it up with Pennsylvania’s finest professionals?
Funk: I’m going to be honest with you. I was not too worried going into the match. The KeyPAP pre-match rituals were friendly and unassuming. Little did I know what was about to ensue that day. We went out there and immediately after the first tee I knew that this was going to be a fight that would take everything that I had. Let me talk first about the mind games the PTC can play on a man. With its now famous no stroke limit per hole, every shot set the stage for a potential meltdown. I saw one of those meltdowns first hand early in the competition and frankly, it was tough to watch. It was a shame, he didn’t have a chance with the pressure of the PTC on his shoulders. After all he was the only player in the top four that had yet to finish grad school; to be involved with this group before graduating is an amazing accomplishment in its own right, but to expect that he could handle the trials and tribulations of the entire PTC was a bit much to ask. I mean he was just a kid. No matter, with two 11-stroke holes in a row he was essentially out of the competition before it started.
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| "I mean, he was just a kid." |
Ding: That must have taken a little of the pressure off of you, going from three competitors to two.
Funk: You would think that wouldn’t you? Watching that poor kid melt down like that just piled on the pressure for all of us. We knew that each bad shot we hit could be the hole that put us out of contention; we had just seen it happen. As we came down the stretch the pressure mounted. We saw grown men teeing off with low irons on par 4’s, petrified that they would be the PTC’s next victim. Then the second meltdown came. Completely unexpected, one of the most fundamental and conservative players on the KeyPAP Tour put three straight tee shots onto the Jackie Robinson Parkway. Only two remained.
Ding: (on the edge of my seat at this point) I can actually feel your nerves at this point. I mean, I know the outcome but I still can’t help but feel nervous for you.
Funk: Ah, this demonstrates how difficult it is to explain the scoundrel that is the PTC. At this point both of our nerves were shot. You can’t have that kind of stress on the mind for four hours and still process information on a meaningful level. We were zombies. My final challenger was saying things like, “Do you think that we are the most handsome foursome on the golf course today?” This is not normal conversation while in the teeth of battle. Finally I pulled out the rattler [this is the name Dave gave his 7 iron because of the loose material that rattles inside when it is held upside down] and put my tee shot in the water on a late round par 3 which ended my day and gave the PTC trophy to its rightful owner.
Ding: That is as thrilling a sports story as I have ever had narrated to me. How did it feel after it was all said and done?
Funk: I think that when I see the trophy presented at the presentation ceremony it will be the most difficult thing I will ever have to watch. To be so close . . . I imagine this moment in my mind and it is almost unbearable, the real thing will hurt exponentially.
Ding: To what do you attribute your bitter defeat?
Funk: There is a threefold answer to that question: pride, fatigue, and mental exhaustion.
Ding: Do you think that next year your experience will pay off and give you a better chance to win?
Funk: Listen, you don’t get to be a member of the KeyPAP by resting on your laurels. You work for it. I plan to send a message to the rest of the tour at the KeyPAP qualifier this August.
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| "My body betrayed me." |
Ding: How do you plan to do this?
Funk: The mental exhaustion is unavoidable in a tournament of this caliber. So I will address my other two downfalls. I’m going to be completely honest with you. My body betrayed me. I was in the lead for nearly all of the front nine. When the back nine came around and I no longer had all of my mental faculties available to me I had to rely on my body which was as doughy and unprepared for an event of this magnitude as it has ever been. I plan to come into the PTCQ 15-20 pounds lighter and when my mind shuts down and relies on the motor patterns engrained into my body from the last 26 years, my body will be able to produce at its highest potential. As for pride, I will be competing with a new set of clubs this time around. The new set I will be using is only slightly newer and less dead than my last but it is a full set with no rattlers. I convinced myself that I knew my clubs and that they were good enough. Then my beloved rattler sat one right next to Davey Jones and I was out of the competition. The last and most important aspect of my training is that I will play as little golf as possible in the next month leading up to the PTCQ. One month of practice will mean nothing at this point. As I have said many times before you cannot use your mind during the second half of these matches. So developing new strategies and techniques would only compound the problems associated with the tour. I will be relying completely on my primal golf instincts.
Ding: Well Dave, our time is up for today and I must say, the pleasure was all mine. I wish you all the best in the upcoming PTCQ.
Funk: Thank you for having me, the re-telling of the story is humbling and it can only contribute to the spiritual growth one needs to call themselves a champion.
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